The Orphan Heart

Last week we spent much of the week going over the Orphan Heart and Doctrine of Adoption. It is impossible in a form like this to convey all that we have learned and that God is still teaching us, but for this post I would like to just give a glimpse of the things we are learning. My goal is to give you the characteristics of an Orphan Heart. We all know that there are physical orphans (Bibilically this means someone who is fatherless). We see many fatherless in our midst every single day. What we do not always want to recognize is that all of us who are without Christ are spiritual orphans. Even further, we do not want to recognize that we all have the heart of an orphan in one way or another. As you go through this list, ask God to reveal to you the areas of your heart that have these tendencies and to help you work through them.

1. Abandonment-because they have been left by one or both parents they have cold emotions; do not know how to respond to love.
2. Rejection- feels rejected or betrayed; thinks "no one love me" or "you don't really love me" (they may even use these as manipulative tools)
3. Loneliness- feels alone bound by fear of being abandoned again; cautious with past experiences; interprething things (words and actions of others) through past experiences; feels isolated even in large groups.
4. Hopelessness- no sense of future hope/destiny; "life can never get any better"; no purpose or direction
5. Worthlessness- feels ashamed that they are a mistake; a person without standing.
6. Sadness- heart is not light and happy/heave burden of loss; pain is buried deep- can't be happy even in a happy environment
7. Mistrust- really do not trust anyone; believe that at anytime they may be abandoned or rejected; cannot reveal painful things
8. Hiding- hides & builds wall around their heart; conceals rather than reveals heart issues; very common to lie about obvious things
9. Superficiality- does not relate at a deeper level; relationship is based on what he/she can get; *** be careful not to encourage this-there is really no way to help someone without a genuine relationship
10. Insecurity- result of pain; fear that anything may cause pain
11. Hypersensitivity- very sensitive to words, actions, and signals; a simple word can be a big deal because they interpret to understand based on past and what they want rather than what you mean; careless words can bring more pain
12. Self-pity- take offense very easily
13. Fear- of man, rejection, separation, disapproval; of man in sense of gender and authority figures; becomes a big deal when you try to correct or instruct because they fear not being approved of; only wants to hear what he wants to hear not what is good for him
14. Poverty Mentality- he doesn't have enough even in the midst of plenty; keeps needing more; hold on to what he receives-wont give it away; survival mindset; fails to enjoy what he has or to be thankful
15. Greed- seeks to fill the hole in the soul; will fill with destructive things (sex, drugs, etc) that give temportal comfort
16. Manipulation- controls others to get as much from them as possible; tool to protect against pain
17. Anger- resentment; anger at self and others
18. Selective Memory- tries to block out painful memories; denies reality
19. Fantasy- deals with facts but not truth; "if parents were here life would be better"
20. Misinterpretation- makes own interpretation of what one says based on past experience
21. Independance- spirit of rebellion that says "I will do thing my way"
22. Striving- driven by need to succeed or be somebody; what you do makes you loved (earning love and acceptance)
23. Restless- don't stay home; go from one place to another to sleep/stay
24. Confused- don't know how to respond to love

There are probably countless other characteristics, but these are the main ones. Which ones describe YOU?